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Speaking of fathers….part two


While I am truly grateful that my father was present in my daily life throughout my ENTIRE childhood until the present time, my father CAN’T SAY THE SAME in regards to HIS FATHER.

My father’s father, whom I HAVE NEVER MET, left for “work” one day and never came back.  My dad was 10 years old.  There were “sightings” of him around the neighborhood.  However, he still COMPLETELY walked away from his responsibilities to his children.  My dad has painful memories about this.  You should see the look in his eyes when he talks about his dad.  Well, back in those times, women were generally housewives and stay-at-home mothers.  So when his dad left, they fell into poverty.  He has memories of his mother never quite being the same emotionally.  It was like all the “life” and happiness got sucked out of her.  There were times when my dad and the rest of his siblings (5 total) would go without eating.  They would make ketchup sandwiches.  My dad told me of one time he got so hungry he cut out a picture of food and ate it. 

My mother on the other hand, grew up being raised by both of her parents.  When my father would go to my mother’s house back in those days, he would look at her father as a role model and address him with the utmost of respect.  When my dad asked for my mother’s hand in marriage he vowed that he would love her and always be by her side and their future children’s as well.  My father SWORE he would NEVER have his kids or his wife go through what he went through.  He knew it with every fiber of his being.  He decided.  He declared it out loud.  He CHOSE IT and it was so. 

Well, HE KEPT HIS PROMISE TO MY MOTHER AND TO US.  We never went hungry.  He was a protector and a provider.  He WAS THE MAN OF THE HOUSE and he always got the BIG PIECE OF CHICKEN! LOL 

My dad is still “the man” and still running things, even from his wheelchair, okay!  Still looking out for his family.  That’s my dad!

Anyhow, my dad could’ve repeated the same pattern that his father modeled for him as a child, but he CHOSE OTHERWISE.  THERE’S ALWAYS A CHOICE.  Awareness of this power and utilization of this power is so awesome!  Once you become aware, you must take RESPONSIBILITY for the choices YOU make.  So there’s no blame, however, a question will remain:  Did the CHOICE YOU MAKE serve you well?

You know what’s interesting?

My son’s father was raised by a single mother and I was raised by both my parents.  Do you see the parallel?  According to my son’s father, he believes his mother never got over the separation with his dad.  When we got together he told me that he didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes as his father and he wanted to be a better father than his father.  My father would counsel him on how to stand up and be a better father, a better man.  Just like my grandpa did with my dad years ago.

I thought it was a pretty interesting observation myself.

You don’t need me to tell you what happens next because you know how the story ends….

If “he” only knew….THERE’S ALWAYS A CHOICE.

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